Ammi

The prettiest girl I ever came across in my life is my mother. Behind her quiet demeanour , is an ocean of wisdom and sweet affection that she accumulated over these years and that too with a silence and endurance that only she could be capable of. Many years ago when I came to learn about mother's day, I was thrilled beacuse it came at a time, in my own time I had just begun to realise then,what a treasure God had given me in her form.

I literally have no clue what to say about her....as all she has ever been to me is a friend. A true friend...the greatest thing about which has always been and still is, to be able to talk to her about anything under the sun, within decent limits for she had at the same time given me great sense of observing some limits in every aspect of life. And I found out one day that she always aspired to take me in her firendship rather than a cold parent -child classical relation.What happened was that I gave her a greeting card on Eid that simply said...Eid Mubarak , my friend! As she read that, her eyes were filled with tears of joy!

The mornings of long summer holidays when I was growing up , were always lit up up when I looked out from my bedroom window on to the terrace and there she was always found with her reading glasses on , going through the newspaper with her head tilted to one side. Later she would cook me the best breakfast in the world ...... She never allowed me more than one egg at a time, to keep my allergy away.Interestingly, she is not that into cooking and can only passionately cook breakfast. But she eats pizza with me only because I like it. I have always seen her eat so little and so gracefully that I have ended up associating eating less with proud sophisticated ladies.

Its an infinite list of gifts for a lifetime that she has given me. Making me believe in myself, to get to know myself is one of them. Perhaps her untiring encouragement in everything I did or planned to do was an effort to enable me to trust my ownself. She makes me believe that even if I wanted to touch the sky , I could work to accomplish that. Sometimes I attribute my misgiving to her for instilling certain qualities in me that are simply not relevant to today's society....respecting others, seeing the good in others, speaking the truth and following the truth wherever I see it, honesty, passion, to go skin deep and appreciating the beauty of a soul. God is always there to listen to me , she wants me to know.

She loves to read....just today she was asking me if I was reading any books and if I ate properly..what did I have for dinner etc? She admires beauty in all forms and always taught me how to stop and smell the roses. If I know that Islamabad is beautiful , it is because of her. Telling me how beautiful the Margallah hills looked, the different shades of green that trees have, the shapes of the clouds against the blue sky, which bird chirped what way in the morning. With all of this in the mind, it is easier to live by her mantra that you come in this world alone, live here alone and then leave alone.....so don't worry and relax!! Love she thinks is very overrated but at the same time she herself, can never stop loving.

Childhood memories ....ah its going to be a painful sweet recalling them but in short, she got me anything I wanted but at the same time letting me value what I got, even if it was a small dinky car from Shah Jee's in Super Market, where I used to take an hour chosing the model I wanted. Patiently, she would wait.

I can go on and on and yet fail to embody her personality ever.....so, I just want to say I love her and miss tremendously not being with her everyday and not getting that life giving hug from her each day of my life.